After Tragedy Strikes
by DarkandtwistyGirl
Summary: After the explosion Shay and Casey are left fighting for their lives. *Complete*
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Hi everyone! So, as I am completely unable to believe that they killed off such a great character, I have decided to write my own version of what happens after the explosion. I hope you enjoy it!**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**

* * *

**Chapter One**

As the dust from the explosion settled it was the men and women of firehouse fifty-one who were left to deal with the repercussions. And their lives would never be the same.

On the fourth floor, one by one the firefighters were pulling themselves and their coworkers from the concrete rubble. Barring a few scrapes everyone on the upper floors was okay... except Lieutenant Matt Casey.

A part of the upper floor had collapsed in on where Casey had stood, and he was half buried by debris.

"Guys, help me shift this," Squad lieutenant Kelly Severide ordered, taking charge in the chaos.

Even those who were injured jumped to follow the command, if they weren't already attempting to free Casey, who had been knocked out cold by falling debris.

But soon they came to a piece of concrete too heavy to shift. Matt's legs had been crushed under the massive weight. There was no way to free him, other than to amputate.

"Mills, assess Casey's condition, then wait with him. Everyone else needs to get out, tell the chief that we need a trauma surgeon here." Kelly knew Matt well enough to know that he wouldn't want his guys to see the career ending surgical procedure, even though they would almost all have seen amputations before, this was different, and Kelly knew it.

* * *

Meanwhile on the first floor, Gabriela Dawson knelt over her partner, Leslie Shay, who lay lifeless on the floor amidst the debris. Dawson desperately performing chest compressions on Shay in an attempt to revive her.

"Come on Shay! Come on!" Dawson shouted frantically as she performed the compressions on her injured partner. Silently she prayed that help would arrive soon, that her other colleagues had escaped the blast uninjured and would be there any second. As the building that they were in was literally crumbling down around them.

Dawson looked around at the debris, searching for their gear, only to find to her dismay that the defibrillator - the item she most needed at that moment - had been destroyed in the blast.

All their gear had either been damaged or buried in rubble, all Dawson could do for her partner was keep up compressions, and pray that help would arrive in time.

Then there was a faint sound, a voice calling from the upper floors. "Shay! Dawson! Call out if you can hear me!" It was Severide.

"We're here! Shay's hurt!" Gabby called out as loudly as she could through the smoke and dust filled air.

There was a long pause, before Gabby heard Kelly's response, "We're coming."

If she had not been sustaining Shay's life with the chest compressions, Gabby would have sagged with relief.

Another thirty seconds or so passed before Dawson heard the scraping of rubble from where the stairs had been, and finally Severide appeared through a gap in the concrete which had fallen in.

"Oh god, Shay," Gabby heard Kelly murmur in shock at the sight of his lifeless best friend.

"She had a pulse when I found her," Gabby reported. "We've got to get her out of here."

"Here, I've got her," Severide said, moving to lift Shay. "Follow me. Stay close."

* * *

Battling their way through the partially collapsed structure, Severide led Dawson out to the nearest ambulance. As soon as Shay's body hit the waiting gurney two unfamiliar paramedics took over CPR on her.

Chief Boden rushed over to meet the pair, and without taking his eyes off of his best friend, Severide relayed what he knew of the situation.

As they spoke most of the firefighters from fifty-one made their way out of the building down an external fire escape, some being helped to walk over to awaiting ambulances.

Gabby looked over to the crowd of battered firefighters, searching for her boyfriend, but there was no sign of Matt. Matt was still inside the damaged building.

"...trapped on the fourth floor, Mills is with him. We need the trauma surgeon here. Rest of the guys seemed to be okay." Gabby overheard the end of Kelly's report to the chief.

"Severide, where's Matt?"

Boden took a step towards her. "Dawson, you should sit down."

"No. Just tell me. Matt's hurt, isn't he?"

Kelly also moved closer to Dawson, ready to steady her if need be. "Matt's trapped, his legs are caught under some concrete that we couldn't shift."

Her mind clicking into place what she had heard about needing a trauma surgeon, Gabby began to frantically shake her head. "No, no. You can't."

"I'm sorry, Dawson. I really am. We can't get him out any other way," Kelly said as Boden made the request for a trauma surgeon over the radio.

"I want to be with him," Gabby told Severide.

"No way," Chief Boden interrupted quickly. "No one other than the surgeon is going back in, this structure is too unstable."

* * *

Inside the building Casey was now conscious, and starting to panic. As a firefighter he knew the full brevity of his own situation, though yet another knock to the head wasn't doing him any favours, and to the best of his current ability he accepted what would be necessary to free him, but the uncertainty he felt not knowing if his girlfriend had made it out safely was rapidly becoming too much.

It was a terrible feeling for the lieutenant not to be able to protect his own girlfriend.

It felt like a lifetime had passed since Severide had left to search for Gabby and Shay, and not much less time since Hermann had led the rest of their coworkers out of the building through a still functional fire escape.

"Take it easy, Lieutenant. You've got to lie still," Peter Mills said, concerned. "Help will be here soon, we'll get you out."

"Gabby. Did Severide find her? Is she okay?" Matt asked urgently, not for the first time.

"I don't know, but Gabby's tough. I'm sure she's okay. And she'll be mad as hell if you hurt yourself further, so lie back down."

Casey complied, feeling another wave of dizziness crash over him.

"Hey! Stay with me, Lieutenant," Mills said worriedly. With each passing minute he could see Casey's mental status waning. "You just gotta hang in here for a few more minutes, then we'll get you out, and you can see Gabby. Stay with me."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**Please Review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews :) You guys are the best!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Two**

Outside Boden was working to coordinate Casey's rescue, while Gabby sat by helplessly. Given the unstable state of the building, a ladder had been positioned to give access to the floor where Casey was trapped.

One by one injured firefighters were being loaded into the ambulances to go to Lakeshore Hospital, the first to go being Shay.

"Surgeon's here!" A firefighter from one of the backup crews called out, alerting the chief, who then moved to meet the surgeon.

"You have a double above knee amputation for me?" The surgeon asked.

"Yes. One of my men is trapped on the fourth floor, report is that his legs are pinned under concrete, he also has a head injury. Our radios aren't working so I can't give you more information. Mills, the guy who's with Matt, is EMT certified, he will be able to assist you. Access is via this ladder," Boden pointed to the appropriate ladder, as he called for another firefighter to help the doctor carry his equipment up.

* * *

"How much further?" The paramedic caring for Shay called out to her partner. They had restarted Shay's heart, and decompressed a collapsed lung, but her condition was still very unstable.

"We're two minutes out. Docs are waiting for us."

"Go faster," The paramedic urged. "Damn it! She's in v-fib!"

* * *

Several minutes earlier

"Mills, where's Gabby?" Matt asked, not remembering having asked the same question just thirty seconds ago. His condition was worsening rapidly, which Mills knew could be a sign of a brain injury or the increasingly significant blood loss.

"I'm sure she's- Hang on," Mills said, spotting a ladder being brought to a nearby broken window. Quickly Peter stood, and made his way to the window. A moment later he saw McFarland from truck sixty-six climbing towards him with a medics bag slung over his shoulder.

"Medics thought you might need this. Surgeon is on route, and there's an ambulance on standby."

"Thanks," Mills replied. "Hey, do you know if a paramedic - Gabriela Dawson - made it out okay?"

"Yeah, she's out. Keeps demanding to be let up here, your chief won't let her."

"Good, don't let her. Casey's in bad shape, she shouldn't see. Thanks for the gear."

* * *

"Sedative's in, you intubate and bag him, I'll set up," The surgeon, Dr Lang told Peter as he began laying out his surgical equipment. Peter couldn't help but grimace as the surgeon tested the bone saw, still he managed to slide the endotracheal tube down Casey's throat, secure it, and connect the vital flow of oxygen.

"Is everything set to evacuate him when I'm done here?" Dr Lang questioned.

"Hey!" Mills called out to the firefighter waiting by the window, "We need a stokes basket, ropes, and a c-collar up here."

"Coming up."

"Okay, I'm going to start now," Dr Lang said picking up the scalpel.

* * *

Within minutes the rescue basket holding Matt was lowered down the ladder, and as he was loaded onto the waiting gurney, Gabby rushed to be by his side.

Matt remained unconscious due to the sedatives given, another paramedic had taken over bagging him. He was as pale as a ghost, and the back of his hair was matted with blood, but what horrified Gabby the most at that moment was the sight of what remained of his legs, stumps less than half the length of his thighs wrapped in thick bloodied gauze.

Forcing down the urge to be sick, Gabby focused on Matt's face as she hurriedly followed his gurney into one of the last ambulances.

* * *

The waiting room of the emergency department of Lakeshore Hospital was overflowing with emergency personnel. Even those who had been treated for minor injuries and released had joined the vigil for Casey and Shay.

"Family for Matthew Casey," A nurse called out as she entered the crowded room.

Gabby stepped forward shakily. She had called Matt's mum, but due to her parole conditions Nancy was unable to be there. "How's Matt?"

"The CT scan revealed an epidural bleed in his brain, we're prepping him for emergency neurosurgery to relieve the pressure. I'm sorry, his condition is highly critical."

* * *

Another hour passed before another nurse came over to the group. "Family for Leslie Shay," The nurse asked.

With a subtle nod from the chief, Severide stepped forward. Again, though Leslie's parents had been contacted they wouldn't arrive for many hours. "How is she?"

"Extremely critical," The nurse replied bluntly. "We're taking her to theatre to repair chest, abdominal, and pelvic injuries. We'll know more in a few hours."

"Is she gonna make it?"

"We'll know more in a few hours," The nurse repeated. "You should prepare yourselves. Even if the surgeon can repair her injuries, there is a possibility that her brain was deprived of oxygen for too long."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews :) You guys are the best!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

With two of their friends and colleagues in surgery in critical condition the hours dragged by slowly for the members of firehouse fifty-one. There was nothing they could do now but wait.

And wait they did, for going on five hours before they were met by one of the trauma surgeons, the same one, Dr Lang - Gabby noted - who had been on scene. Still very shaky, she stood. "How is he? Can I see him?" Gabby asked.

"Matthew's stable, and you can go up to visit him once the nurses have settled him in the intensive care unit. We will keep him sedated and on the ventilator for a couple of days to be on the safe side, and monitor him very closely, but everything went as well as we could hope for."

"So he'll be alright?"

"It is too early to say, but so far his neurological examinations are promising. I'll have a nurse escort you upstairs when he's settled."

* * *

Though Gabby wanted to wait for word on her partner, the pull to be by her boyfriend's side was too strong. Boden promised that they would get word to her when they heard about Shay.

* * *

It was another four hours before a doctor came to discuss Shay's condition with them. The doctor, a man in his late thirties, approached the group looking tired and slightly sad.

For a moment they all thought that he was there to tell them that Shay had died.

"Leslie is out of surgery, and we're moving her to the ICU shortly. The surgery went as well as we could have hoped. We repaired her collapsed lung, pinned two fractures in her pelvis, unfortunately one kidney was too damaged and needed to be removed, and the other is severely bruised and not currently functional, so we have had to place Leslie on dialysis. Currently our biggest concern is whether there has been any neurological damage, and I'm afraid that we won't know that until she wakes up, if she wakes up."

"If?" Kelly asked, feeling as though the rug had just been ripped out from under him. This couldn't be happening, his best friend had to wake up, she just had to.

"I'm sorry that the news isn't better. You can go sit with her soon."

* * *

As soon as he was allowed, Kelly went upstairs to the ICU to sit with Shay. And if it was confronting for Severide the last time his best friend had been injured, this was a hundred times worse. Machines surrounded Shay's bed, machines that were presently all that stood between her and death. Kelly was afraid to touch her for fear that he would accidentally dislodge this wire or that tube.

Leslie just looked so fragile, as if the slightest bump would cause her to shatter.

* * *

Just down the hallway, Gabby was having no easier time as she sat by Casey's bedside while he lay resting in a drug-induced slumber. Try as she might, her gaze kept being drawn to the dressing on the side of his head that covered a long incision from the craniotomy, then to that spot where the blankets fell too short, to the stumps that were now all that remained of Matt's legs, and back again.

Why did this have to happen to them?

* * *

Gabby was broken from her thoughts some time later, by a sharp knock on the doorframe. It was her brother, Antonio.

"I just heard, Gabby. I came straight over," Antonio said as he moved to hug his little sister. "Are you okay?"

Suddenly self conscious, Gabby realised that she had taken no time to clean herself up, and that she must look absolutely frightful. "I'm okay, really. It's just Matt and Shay, everyone else got out okay."

"But you were in that building when it blew up... You scared me sis." Antonio turned his attention to Matt. "How is he anyway? What are the doctors saying?"

"That he'll be kept in a coma for a couple of days, beyond that I don't know. I guess he'll be in rehab for a pretty long time. The doctor was being positive, but we knew that another head injury could be fatal, and even though it was only a small bleed..." Gabby took Matt's limp hand in her own. "He proposed to me, you know, right before we got the call. He told me not to answer, not like that, but now... I should have told him. What if-"

"Hey, don't go there. Matt will be fine."

"But he might not be!"

* * *

Neither Dawson, nor Severide left the bedsides of Casey and Shay that night. Kelly was dozing in a chair by Shay's bed, when he noticed another person's presence, he opened his eyes to find Devon - Shay's sometimes girlfriend - standing over the bed crying.

Severide immediately got to his feet, angered that Devon had the nerve to show up at such a time, not that he would ever accept her presence. "What are you doing here, Devon?" Severide questioned.

"I heard about what happened. Is Leslie going to be okay?"

"You need to leave."

"Please, Kelly. Is Leslie going to be okay?"

"She's in a coma, and the doctors think she could have brain damage. She's on freakin' life support. Is that what you want to hear? Just go away."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews :) You guys are the best!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Four**

After Devon stormed out, Kelly was left fuming at the woman's nerve to show her face here, now. And for sometime nothing could calm him, but then in the corner of his eye he thought he saw Shay move.

Instantly Kelly's focus shifted. "Shay," He murmured, going to his best friend's bedside.

Shay then made an uncoordinated, yet purposeful movement to grab for the breathing tube. She was waking up.

"Hey there, take it easy, Shay," Kelly said, pressing the nurse call button before gently holding her arms to keep her from hurting herself. "You're gonna be okay, Shay. Take it easy."

"Can I help you?" One of the ICU nurses, Mary said as she entered the room, "Oh, Ms Shay you're awake. Here, let's see if we can take out that breathing tube."

Mary checked several of the machines, before nodding her head approvingly. "Very good, well I think we can take that tube out now, Ms Shay. Get you feeling a bit more human." Without further delay, the experienced nurse deftly undid the endotracheal tube's fastenings, and then pulled out the tube itself, which in turn caused Shay to cough violently, until she finally lay back.

Grimacing from the pain, Shay spoke to Severide, "What happened?" Her words were hoarse, but clear. It was a good sign.

"There was an explosion. You got hurt pretty bad, but you're gonna be okay. Everything's okay now."

"I'll go get the doctor," Mary told Severide. "They'll want to do a full neuro check. But everything looks good."

"Wait! What does that mean?"

"I'll go get the doctor," Mary replied evasively.

Shay looked to Kelly with fear in her eyes, and truthfully he wasn't fairing much better. "It's okay, Shay," Kelly tried to calm his friend, gently stroking her hair. "Everything's going to be okay."

* * *

From her seat by Matt's bedside Dawson noticed an increase in activity in Shay's room across the hall. Gently setting Matt's limp hand back down on the bed, thinking the worst Gabby rushed to see what was happening with her friend.

Through the glass wall that separated off the room from the hallway, Gabby saw a doctor examining Shay. Shay was okay, she was awake.

Relief rushed through Gabby, but that relief was short lived, as she watched the doctor frown. Something was wrong.

* * *

"Try again, Ms Shay," The intensivist instructed from his position at the end of the bed. "Press against my hands as hard as you can. Alright, you can rest, Ms Shay."

"Is something wrong, doc?" Severide asked worriedly, he too had seen the doctor's expression.

"There is moderate weakness in her arms and legs, there may have been an injury to the part of her brain that controls her muscles. It is not uncommon in such situations, and with physical therapy it may improve." The doctor turned his attention back to Shay, "Otherwise you're doing very well, Ms Shay."

"So when can I get out of here, and go back to work?"

"Well, it's a miracle in and of itself that you are awake and talking. You have to understand that you're recovery will take time. You have been through a massive trauma, and been in a coma for close to two days. It will be a long road just to get you home, you shouldn't even be thinking about returning to work at this stage."

"Why not? I know it won't be easy, but I'll do it."

"Leslie, you have a fractured pelvis, that will keep you in bed for at least four weeks, you also have rib fractures, and signs of mild brain injuries, but ultimately it will be the injury to your kidneys that will prevent you from returning to work. Being on dialysis, and working in a physically demanding job is just not an option. I'm sorry."

"What injury? No one's told me anything," Shay said, craning her neck to see more of what was around her, looking in particular for a dialysis machine.

"Your kidneys sustained major injuries in the explosion. The right one had to be removed, and the left one was severely bruised. Currently you are receiving dialysis through a central line in your neck, we'll continue with three hours sessions four times a week, and monitor for signs that your remaining kidney is starting to function again."

"How long are we talking here? Days? Weeks?"

"Kidney trauma is actually quite rare, and so there really isn't a specific timeframe that I can give you. At this point it is a waiting game. That said, if we don't see any improvement in function in say three months we will need to consider the option of a kidney transplant."

"Transplant?"

"It is a possibility, but let's give that kidney of yours a fair chance to heal before we go making any decisions."

* * *

After the doctor left Dawson tentatively entered the room. She hadn't heard their conversation, however from the tears streaming from Shay's eyes it was fairly easy to guess.

"...am I going to do, Kelly? I can't not work," Shay was yelling at her best friend. "I can't spend the rest of my life hooked up to a damn machine."

"And you won't have to," Kelly replied, only to notice that Shay's attention was elsewhere.

"Gabby," Shay said in greeting, relieved to see that her partner was okay.

"Hi Shay. How are you doing girl?"

"Been better," Shay replied offering her partner a half smile. "Are you okay? You didn't get hurt at all, did you?"

"No, I'm okay. But Matt... Matt got hurt pretty bad, he's in a room across the hall."

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Is he going to be alright?"

"Um, we're not really sure yet. He had an epidural bleed, and he um lost his legs, so even when he wakes up, it's not going to be easy."

"Maybe not, but he'll be okay, we all will," Kelly said. "We'll all be okay."

* * *

"Oh my poor baby," Nancy Casey murmured as she walked into her son's hospital room. "Gabriela, I am so sorry that I couldn't get here sooner. Parole curfew, you understand. How is our boy?"

"He's got a long road ahead of him," Gabby said tentatively. "But so far so good. They have him in an induced coma at the moment, but he's going to wake up soon, and he'll be okay."

"I just... I can't believe that they took his legs. When I heard- All he ever wanted to do was be a firefighter, and now..."

"He'll be okay," Gabby said perhaps a little too quickly. "We'll get through this just fine. Yeah, he'll wake up tomorrow, and they'll fit him for prosthetics, and he'll be okay. Even if he can't be a firefighter, we're going to get through this."

"I hope you're right, Gabriela. I hope you're right."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews :) You guys are the best!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

Unlike Shay's rather abrupt return to consciousness, Matt's initial return was much slower. On the morning of the third day since the explosion the sedatives keeping Matt asleep were ceased, and after a couple of hours he was able to be taken off of the ventilator.

Gabby was at Matt's side every step of the way.

And when Matt finally opened his eyes, Gabby was there at his side in an instant. "Matt. Hey there, how are you feeling?"

"Hurts," Matt replied, his voice hoarse from being intubated.

Gabby pressed the nurse call button quickly, without taking her attention away from her boyfriend. "I know it does. Just try to take it easy. I'll see if the nurse can give you something."

Within seconds a nurse was at Matt's bedside, pushing a dose of pain relief into his IV. "There you go, Matthew. That should help with your pain, if it doesn't just let me know. Would you like to try some ice chips? They will help the soreness in your throat."

"Yeah, please," Matt replied. Gratefully he accepted the offered spoonful of ice chips. They helped his throat immensely. "I can feel my legs," Matt murmured. "I thought they were going to amputate." From his position lying flat he couldn't see that his legs were in fact gone.

"Matt, honey... They did have to amputate both your legs," Gabby said before turning to the nurse, and asking, "Why can he still feel-"

"It is called phantom limb pain, a very common phenomenon for amputees," The nurse explained to the couple.

Matt began to struggle to sit up, to see for himself. He could still feel his legs, how could they be gone? "Let me up. I need to- I need to see."

Obligingly, the nurse slowly raised the back of the bed, with the warning "Let me know if you feel dizzy at all.", until Matt could see his lower body.

Matt threw the blankets back, needing to truly see it to comprehend it. With a feeling trepidation, Matt slowly moved his hands to touch the end of the thick white gauze which covered the surgical wound on his what remained of his right leg. "But it feels so real... How can they be gone?"

The nurse quietly excused herself, as Gabby attempted to comfort her distraught boyfriend. The problem was that Gabby really didn't know what to say, there were no words that would make the situation better for Matt. His career, his life as he knew it was over, and he faced months if not years of rehabilitation just to regain his mobility.

"I'm so sorry, baby. There was nothing anyone could do, you were trapped, and your legs were crushed... Severide did everything he could, all the guys did."

"Well they should have done more, damn it!" Matt shouted, turning on Gabby.

"Matt..." Gabby began, stunned.

"Get out! Leave me alone!"

* * *

Needless to say, Gabby left Matt alone, if only to keep him from hurting himself. She could not have been more stunned by his sudden outburst. Sobbing, Gabby walked blindly down the hallway, and directly into Severide. "Hey Dawson, what's up?" Kelly asked concerned. "Is Casey alright?"

"Yeah, um he's okay. He woke up, and um he kicked me out of his room," Gabby told him, still choking back sobs. "It wasn't- He wasn't... He's different."

"Different? Different how?" Kelly asked, immediately thinking back to the differences he had seen in Casey after his last major head injury.

"Matt never used to yell at me, he's never yelled at me."

"Hey, it'll be alright. Maybe it was just the shock of seeing, well you know- his legs gone."

"Yeah, maybe."

* * *

After shift that day the members of house fifty-one all came to the hospital to check on their injured colleagues. As visitors were still limited, Severide and Dawson took time away from Shay and Casey to update their coworkers. Neither Shay nor Casey wanted more visitors as they struggled to cope with their changed realities.

Once everyone was gathered, Severide started the impromptu meeting. "Thanks for coming guys, I know that Shay and Casey really appreciate all of your support. As you've probably heard by now, Casey has woken up, and he is doing as well as can be expected. And Shay is doing well, she might even be out of intensive care by tomorrow."

"So when can we visit them?" Hermann asked.

Dawson and Severide exchanged a look; they both knew that neither Shay nor Casey were really up to having visitors. After a lengthy pause, Severide mustered as much tact as he possessed, and answered, "Not yet, but soon we hope."

"Is there anything you're not telling us?" Boden questioned the pair.

"They just need time to adjust."

* * *

The group dispersed soon after, but Chief Boden hung back. He motioned for Dawson to join him in the hallway, away from their colleagues. "Dawson, can I have a word?" Boden said.

"Sure, Chief."

"How's Matt? I mean, how is he really? You were holding back in there."

"He's different, Chief. He kicked me out of his room earlier, I've tried to go back in, but he just is so angry. He's not himself. The neurologist says that it's the brain injury, and that I should prepare myself, because he might be like this permanently," Gabby admitted, choking back tears.

"I'm sorry to hear that, Dawson. If you need anything we're all here for you and Casey," Boden replied. He paused, hesitating. "Now, and I do understand that this is a delicate matter under the circumstances... Given Matt's situation Hermann has been promoted to lieutenant, so I wanted to tell you that if you still want it the candidate position at fifty-one is yours. That is of course when you feel ready to come back to work, if you want to take more time..."

"Can I start next shift?" Dawson replied without hesitation. As much as she loved Matt, after the difficult day she had just spent with him, work would be a welcome break.

"If that's what you want."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews :) You guys are the best!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Six**

Matt felt terrible for yelling at Gabby. As he lay awake that night it seemed impossible to him that he could have said the things he did, it didn't even feel like he was the one who said it all.

It was just such a shock to see his residual limbs, and he had lashed out at the closest person, even though he knew that none of it was her fault.

* * *

Gabby couldn't sleep either, her mind churning over the events of the past day.

As a trained paramedic Gabby knew that the traumatic brain injury, or even just the shock Matt felt explained his unusual behaviour, but as Matt's girlfriend she was deeply hurt by the horrible things Matt had said to her.

* * *

The next morning as Severide entered the hospital to visit Shay he decided to ignore Dawson's strong recommendation not to check in on Casey. After all Matt was like a brother to him.

Matt was lying relatively flat in the bed, as he got dizzy sitting upright, sound asleep. In Severide's opinion Matt didn't look too bad, apart from the obvious surgical interventions to his legs and head Matt looked normal, even if a little pale.

Kelly was hesitant to wake his friend, but in the end he didn't need to.

Sensing someone hovering over him, Matt awoke from his slumber. "Not more pills," Matt mumbled, between his own insomnia and nurses checking on him Matt had gotten very little sleep. "Oh... Sorry, Kelly. I thought- Never mind. It's good to see you, man."

"It's good to see you too. How you feeling?"

Matt shrugged noncommittally. "How are the rest of the guys? No one's been in yet."

"A few scrapes and bruises, apart from you and Shay everyone got out okay."

"What happened to Shay? Is she alright?"

"A falling beam caught her across the back, it did a lot of internal damage, but you know Shay, she's tough."

"Yeah, she is," Matt agreed, pausing before he asked, "Hey, are my clothes around here somewhere?"

"I guess so, why? It's not like I can break you out of here if that's what you're thinking."

"Can you just find them for me?"

"Sure, man," Kelly agreed, beginning to look around the room. It wasn't long before he found a plastic bag labelled 'patient belongings' stuffed under the bed.

The turnout gear and clothes were there, however they were in Severide's opinion too bloodied and torn to be worth salvaging. Holding the bag up for Matt to see, Kelly asked, "Here we go, man. What are you looking for?"

"In my pants pocket there was a ring box, is it there?"

Kelly checked both pockets, no ring box. "It's not here, man. Do you want-"

"Damn it!" Matt suddenly exclaimed, slightly startling Severide. "What the hell have they done with it?! Get it back," he demanded.

Starting to see what Dawson meant by saying that Matt was different, Kelly quickly agreed to his coworker's demand, and made his way out to the nurses station.

* * *

At the nurses station sat a pretty young Spanish nurse, who Kelly recognised as Elena. Casually he approached her, "Elena, hey."

"Mr Severide. Can I help you with something?"

"Yeah actually, well I hope so. I was just in visiting Matt Casey, he works with me and Shay. He was looking for a ring box that he had on him when the accident happened, and I just thought something like that you might have locked away for safekeeping."

"I'm not sure, but I can certainly check for you."

"Thanks."

* * *

"Here we go, Mr Severide," Elena said victoriously, as she returned to the desk several minutes later with a large envelope in hand. "Mr Casey's personal belongings. We do recommend that patients leave such items with us or send them home, but if it will calm him to see that everything is there, then you're welcome to take it to him."

"Yeah, I will, thanks," Kelly said, accepting the envelope from the nurse. After checking that there was in fact a small black ring box in the envelope, Kelly proceeded to return to Matt's room.

No sooner than he walked in the door, Matt asked, "Did you find it?"

"Yeah, man, I found it. The nurses were just keeping it locked up while you were out of it." Normally Severide wouldn't have bothered to add the last part, but given Matt's recent outburst, it felt like the best way to go. "Here you go."

Matt accepted the envelope, thanking Kelly as he did. A wave of relief washed over him as he opened the ring box, and saw the ring completely undamaged. "Do you think she'll still want to marry me?"

"She won't think twice. Gabby loves you, man."

"Does she? Let's face it, I'm not the same guy I was before the explosion."

"What do you mean? You're still the same person."

"Yeah, but instead of being a firefighter, working construction on the side, I'm going to be the guy trying to relearn how to walk at thirty-two. I'll need nursing care for months still, which will end up falling to Gabby to do if she stays with me. Not to mention I've taken one too many knocks to the head, and that's doing God knows what to me. Maybe it would be better if I let her go," Matt finished, staring at the ring box in his hand.

"You really have taken too many knocks to the head if you believe that bullshit, Casey. I'm not into all that touchy feely stuff, but I'll say this... Gabby doesn't want to marry a firefighter, she wants to marry you."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Sorry for the long gap between updates, hopefully it'll be quicker from now on.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Seven**

Leaving Matt to his thoughts, Kelly headed across the hallway to see Shay. When he walked in she was sitting propped up in bed, casually flicking though the channels on the tv. Though Shay was still hooked up to numerous monitors, drips, and surgical drains, she looked much better than she had the pervious day.

"Hey, Kelly," Shay greeted him.

"Hey, Shay. You're looking better."

"Yeah, I'm feeling a bit better today. But the kidney doctor came by this morning, and he isn't happy with how my body's responding to dialysis, so they're putting me on the transplant list."

"What?" Kelly murmured in shock.

"Yeah, apparently I'm stable for now, but I'm not going to be able to live on dialysis like some people can. Still, the doctors are talking about getting me out of the ICU soon."

"Well, that's great," Kelly replied.

"Yeah, it is," Shay replied with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes; knowing that she may never be back to her old self had hit her harder than she would say.

"I wanted to let you know that your mom finally called me back, Apparently her phone was busted, so she hasn't been getting messages. Anyway, she's flying in, she'll be here tonight, so will Megan.

Shay just sighed tiredly, as much as she loved her family, she had enough to deal with without them hovering, but she knew that Kelly wouldn't have called if he hadn't been truly worried for her.

"I didn't call your dad," Kelly said, hoping to appease his best friend.

"Thanks, Kelly," Shay replied. "What did you tell mom?"

"Just that you'd been hurt at work, and that it was pretty bad."

"They shouldn't have to put their lives on hold for me, mom's got work, and Meg's got Steve and the kids."

"So what, Shay? They've also got you. You could've died, they should be here, and if you father wasn't such an a-hole I would've called him too. Damn it! Why are we fighting about this?"

"I don't know!"

Having heard the raised voices from across the hall, a nurse appeared to hush them, this was after all a place of healing.

Once she had checked on Shay, the nurse left them with a warning to keep it civil if Kelly wanted to stay.

"Sorry I yelled, Kelly. This whole thing, it's doing my head in. I'm supposed to be out there" Shay motioned to the outside of the hospital building "helping people, not stuck in this bed."

"It's okay, Shay. Believe me, compared to the scenes Matt is causing, this is nothing."

"What's going on with Matt? What do you man?"

Being just across the hall, Kelly thought that Shay would've heard something. "I, um, I shouldn't have... You should rest-"

"Kelly, what's wrong with Casey? Is he awake? Tell me."

"Matt had a bleed in his brain, they operated, but from what Dawson has told me, and what I've seen for myself... He's different, I don't know. I shouldn't have said anything."

"Kelly, I'm injured, not useless. Beside you, Gabby is my closest friend, and Matt is her boyfriend. If something's going on with Matt, I should know. How's Gabby doing?"

"...You know Dawson, it takes a lot to get under her skin."

"That's for sure," Shay agreed. "Please just let her know that she can talk to me if she needs to, I won't break."

* * *

Meanwhile out in the hallway, Gabby was on her way to visit Matt, when one of the doctors stopped her. "Gabriela, I'm glad I caught you. I wanted to discuss with you Matt's condition."

"Why what's wrong? Did he get worse in the night?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. I'm sorry if I alarmed you," The intensivist said apologetically. "The neurologist came to see Matt early this morning, we haven't spoken to Matt about the test results yet, because there is mixed news."

"Start with the bad."

"Alright, perhaps we should take a seat," The doctor suggested, motioning to two nearby chairs.

Gabby allowed the doctor to guide her to a seat.

"The bad news is that Matt shows signs that the part of his brain controlling balance has been impacted by the bleed, if Matt still had his legs he would have an extremely difficult time relearning how to walk, as the situation stands it will not be possible for Matt to be fitted with prosthetic legs. He will be dependant on a wheelchair for the rest of his life."

Gabby went very quiet, and it was several minutes before she processed the news, and spoke again, "And the good?"

"The good news is that we believe that the changes in Matt's personality are due to generalised swelling in the brain, and very possibly may resolve if given time."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eight**

"Thank you, doctor," Dawson murmured, standing up, and making her way to Matt's room. The news could not have been on much further opposites, on one hand there was a possibility that Matt would return to his old self, but on the other there was the cold hard fact that Matt would be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life.

But Gabby wouldn't tell Matt what she had learnt straight away, the good or the bad, not when she walked in to find Matt staring tearily at a familiar ring box. "Matt?"

Matt hastily shoved the ring box under his blankets, even though he must have known that Gabby would have seen it. "Hey, Gabby."

"What's going on, babe?"

"...Our proposal was so close to being perfect. I don't know... I want it to be perfect when I do it again."

"Oh, Matt. You don't have to propose again. You know my answer. Hell, we could go down to the hospital chapel right now."

"Do you know how much I love you, babe?" Matt said, as Gabby moved in to kiss him.

"I know."

"I will propose to you again."

"I know. And I'll say yes."

"I know."

Gabby laughed as she climbed up onto the bed beside Matt. Being careful of his injuries, she wrapped herself around him. "I spoke to the doctor, Matt."

"And?" Matt pressed, instantly focusing.

"And you're doing really well, as well as they could hope for, but..."

"What?"

"They can't give you prosthetics because of the head injury. You're going to be in a wheelchair. I'm so sorry, babe."

It was probably a sign that Matt was recovering that he didn't go off at Gabby, but what happened next was much worse.

A shooting pain through a limb that no longer existed sent Matt sprawling, along with Gabby, who he knocked off the bed.

It seemed like a minor accident, and Gabby dismissed it quickly as she called a nurse to help Matt back into bed, until she was tucking Matt into bed, and a sharp pain suddenly came over her.

"Gabby?!" Matt said in alarm.

As Matt struggled futilely to get out of bed to help his girlfriend, the nurse gently guided Gabby into a chair, and called for assistance.

"Miss, what hurts? Can you tell me?"

"It's my stomach, feels like a cramp, but- Oh god it hurts. What's happening?"

"Do you have any medical conditions? Recent injuries?"

"No, no medical conditions. I fell when Matt fell, but that's it."

"Okay, just take it easy," The nurse said, as one of his colleagues brought in a wheelchair. "We're going to take you down to the ER to be checked out, they'll sort out what's wrong."

* * *

"I want to go with her," Matt said as he watched Gabby allowing herself to be helped into the waiting wheelchair.

"That is out of the question, Mr Casey. We will keep you updated, but the doctor won't approve for you to be out of bed."

A matter of minutes later, Gabby was downstairs being examined by a doctor. She had been changed into a hospital gown for the exam.

It only took the doctor minutes to make a diagnosis.

"Ms Dawson, did you know that you were pregnant?"

"Pregnant?" Jubilation turned to fear, "Wait did you say were?!"

"The fall has caused significant trauma, we will need a more detailed scan, but I expect that you will lose this pregnancy. I'm very sorry."

* * *

"Excuse me please," An older male doctor called out to Severide as he strode down the hallway of the ICU.

Kelly stopped, and turned to face the man. "Can I help you?"

"I hope so, yes. You're young Ms Shay's friend, correct?"

"That's right. Is everything-"

"Ms Shay's condition is unchanged. However as I said to her and her family this morning that is unlikely to continue to be true if we cannot find a kidney donor for her. I am encouraging all of her family and friends to be tested as possible matches. Would you be willing to get tested? It's a simple blood draw."

* * *

Gabby was beyond devastated, she couldn't even breathe, let alone think. To learn that you were pregnant in the same breath as you were told that you would lose that baby, it was too horrible to even describe.

Truthfully Gabby hardly even noticed when her brother, Antonio arrived to be with her. Matt had called him in a guilt ridden panic.

"The doctor wants to admit you for observation, sis. Is that okay?"

Gabby nodded shakily.

"Do you want me to get Matt?" Antonio was at a loss as to what to do.

Gabby shook her head. "Don't worry him. There's no reason. Tell him I'm going home."

"You got it, sis."

* * *

"Hey guys, listen up," Kelly called out through the lounge room of the firehouse.

All the guys quietened, and looked to Severide.

"Thanks. I just came from the hospital, and the doctor has told me that because of Shay's condition they want to look for a living donor, because she might not survive the wait." Kelly sighed deeply. "The best chance is a relative, but the doctor wants to start the ball rolling in case her mom and sister don't match. Anyways, for anyone who's willing to get tested the doctor said that he'd be in his rooms this afternoon to do tests."

"We could go up there now, couldn't we Chief?" Mills asked.

"That we can."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Nine**

It was to be a long night for the hospitalised members of firehouse 51. As tired and ill as she was, Shay was forcing herself to look admiringly at the massive bouquet of flowers and balloons brought by her mom, and the giant teddy bear from her sister, Megan.

News had reached Shay that Gabby was in the emergency department, and she very much wanted to be there to support her friend.

But no, she was in her own hospital room, entertaining two people (Kelly had gone home already) who she loved very dearly, yet could hardly stand at times.

"She looks positively dreadful, doesn't she dear?" Annette Shay, Leslie's mom said as she fussed over her daughter.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll be back in a minute," Megan replied distractedly, cellphone pressed to her ear.

"Mom, I'm fine really," Leslie insisted, though she couldn't lift lift herself up to prove her argument. "It looks a lot worse than it is. You really could go home."

* * *

In his room Matt was almost out of his mind with worry. After all, how badly hurt was Gabby that she couldn't even come up to say goodnight before she left? How badly had he hurt her?

* * *

And on the pre-natal ward Gabby was fairing no better. In essence there was nothing that could be done other than to wait and see whether she would miscarry a baby she hadn't even known about.

Antonio was sitting with her, just in case she needed anything.

* * *

As dawn broke the next morning, Gabby was wheeled downstairs for a follow up ultrasound.

The ultrasound technician was very kind, but Gabby hardly noticed anything around her, until the other woman said, "There's still a heartbeat. Here, dearie, listen." She fiddled with the machine until a loud thumping sound was emitted - the baby's heartbeat.

"Oh wow," Antonio murmured. "It's a miracle. Are you hearing this, sis?"

Gabby nodded, wiping tears from her eyes.

"This little one's a fighter. It's still early days, but it looks like your baby will be okay."

"Really?" Gabby asked, not daring to hope.

"Really. Congratulations, Ms Dawson."

"Thank you," Gabby said gratefully as the technician returned to her work, and turned the sound off once again. Gabby looked to her brother, "Do you think I can go see Matt? I need to tell him that he's going to be a dad."

"I'm sure we can sort something out, sis."

* * *

When Matt saw Gabby being wheeled into his room in a wheelchair by Antonio, he very nearly jumped from the bed to meet her. Thankfully he stopped himself.

"Gabby! Are you okay? Why're you in a gown? Have you been crying?"

"Matt, calm down," Gabby urged her boyfriend. "Everything is alright, better than alright actually... We're going to have a baby."

* * *

After a very long evening Shay's mom and sister had gone to a hotel for the night, and thankfully were yet to return. Severide stopped by to see her.

"How's Gabby?" Were the first words out of Shay's mouth.

"Dawson's fine, they'll let her out tomorrow morning. I'm sure she'll come by later. How are you? Where are Annette and Megan?"

"I'm okay, as I spent most of the night convincing mom. They went to their hotel to get some sleep, they'll be back this afternoon."

"Oh, okay. Hey listen Shay, I'm not going to be coming around as much. I just can't keep missing shifts. My leave's run out, and Chief's already stuck his neck out to get me more time."

Honestly Shay didn't quite know what to say, though she had seen this coming of course. "...That's okay. When's your next shift?"

"Tomorrow. Are you sure you're going to be okay here?"

"I'll be fine."

* * *

"We're going to have a baby," Matt echoed in shock. "How?"

Gabby stifled a laugh, her brother couldn't quite manage as much, commenting, "Well bro, when two people love each other very much-"

"Shut it," Matt bit back, it was a little harsh, but not as bad as his reaction might have been. "Gabby?"

"My best guess is that night, you know when I did that thing, and you-"

"Geez sis, I really don't need to hear this," Antonio interrupted. "I'll be outside."

"So six weeks?"

"About that, yes. What do you think, babe?"

"We're having a baby," Matt murmured, the happiness in his voice was unmistakable, then, "...Wait, what does this have to do with you being in a hospital gown?"

"It doesn't matter, Matt. Please, just be happy."

"Damn it, Gabby! Tell me."

Gabby cringed. "Okay, just calm down. After we fell off the bed yesterday I started getting cramps, and the doctor in emergency told me about the baby, and that I might be at risk to miscarry. But that didn't happen, my ultrasound this morning was fine. I'll be going home tomorrow, a week of rest, and everything will be back to normal."

"Miscarry?" That word hung heavily in the air. "You nearly lost our baby because of me?"

* * *

It was around lunchtime that day when Shay's doctor came in to see her. "Good afternoon, Leslie," The doctor greeted her, as he pulled up a chair beside her bed.

"Good afternoon, doctor."

"I have most excellent news for you, Leslie. We have found you a donor."

"What? I've only been on the list for a couple of days."

"Yes, well your donor wasn't found through the national registry. They have however asked to remain anonymous to you."

"Why? Who is it?"

"I cannot tell you, Leslie. Are you willing to go ahead with the transplant surgery?"

It was possibly the most difficult decision of Shay's life. On one hand she needed a transplant to get well and get back to her life. But on the other hand one of her friends or family were putting themselves at risk. "...I'll do it, but you better tell whoever it is that they have to be okay."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Just a quick note... The next update may take a few weeks longer than usual due to real life, thank you in advance for your understanding.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Ten**

In a far corner of the hospital, not much later, Kelly was sitting down to talk to Shay's doctor. "So, did Shay go for it?"

"Yes, Leslie has agreed to go ahead with the transplant."

"Thanks, doc," Kelly said gratefully, shaking the specialist's hand.

"I'm still uncertain as to why you don't want Leslie to know that you're her donor."

"It'll just worry her, doc. Besides it doesn't really matter, it matters that she gets well."

"She is going to worry either way, Mr Severide. I still recommend that you tell her."

"I'll keep that in mind," Kelly replied, though he truly had no intention of telling his best friend anything.

* * *

Since learning of Gabby's pregnancy Matt had gone very quiet, to the point that Gabby had, albeit reluctantly, agreed to return to her own room. As much as Matt was overjoyed by the news that he would be a father, he was riddled with guilt that his actions, voluntary or not, nearly killed the baby.

"Mr Casey, you need to work with me on these exercises if you want to heal," Matt's physical therapist urged.

"And who says I want to heal?"

* * *

Meanwhile back in her hospital room, Gabby was staring contemplatively at her cell phone. She had worked so hard to be a firefighter, and in a phone call, she was about to put that, and her career as a medic on hold.

Sighing, Gabby dialled Chief Boden's phone number. He answered quickly.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Chief. It's Dawson," Gabby started the conversation.

"Dawson, what can I do for you? How's Matt?"

"Matt's good. I actually needed to talk to you about me. I'm going to have to transfer to admin for awhile, can you arrange that?"

"I can. The question is why would you want that? I know that Matt's in rough shape, but-"

"I'm pregnant. Rules state that no pregnant woman can be an active member of the emergency services. So in two weeks when I run out of leave, I need that transfer, Chief."

"I'll make it happen, Dawson. Oh and congratulations to you and Matt."

* * *

While Gabby was contemplating her changing plans, and Matt was sulking, Shay was resting when her mother and sister noisily entered her room.

As annoyed as Shay was, it did allow her to ask a question that had been plaguing her. "Is it you, Meg? Is that why mom's brought you out here? Coz you certainly look like you'd rather be anywhere else."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Les."

"The transplant, that's what I'm talking about. Are you my donor?"

"What?! No. I'm not a match."

"What's going on, Leslie?"

"My nephrologist came by to see me earlier, and he told me that someone has offered to donate a kidney to me, but he wouldn't say who. Do either of you know anything about this?"

"Sweetheart, calm down. We were both tested not long after we arrived, but neither of us were a suitable match to donate."

'Okay that rules out my family,' Shay thought, 'with the exception of Dad, but honestly he wouldn't lift a finger to help me. That leaves everyone at fifty-one, but which one of them is it? It could be anyone.'

* * *

Later that day, though she was supposed to be resting, Gabby was bored stiff, and so she decided to pay Shay a visit. It took some coaxing to get the nurse to bring her a wheelchair, but eventually they gave in, and brought one, even agreeing to wheel Gabby upstairs to the ward Shay was presently a resident of.

When Gabby reached Shay's room, Shay was sitting propped up in bed, watching daytime television, though laughably she tried to shut it off upon seeing Gabby in the doorway.

"Shut up, it was the only thing on," Shay grumbled, as Gabby struggled not to laugh a little.

"Sure, whatever you say, girl," Gabby replied. "I just thought I'd stop in for a visit, you heard I landed in emergency yesterday?"

"Yeah, I did. What happened?"

"Matt accidentally knocked me off his bed, it wouldn't have been a big deal, but I'm pregnant, and I started getting cramps."

"Wait, you're what? Did you just say that you're pregnant? Congratulations, girl ...the baby is okay, isn't it?"

"It was close, they thought... They thought I was going to miscarry, but it's okay now."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I just need to rest, and I might as well do that here as downstairs. Enough about me. How are you? What's the latest?"

"Well, I'm going to get a kidney. Apparently someone has agreed to donate, but they won't say who."

"Really? That's great news, girl! When's that happening?"

"In ten days. My doctor says that it'll take that long to get everything organised, and for whoever it is who's donating to have all the pre-op tests. It's not like there's any great rush, I'm doing okay on the dialysis."

"Still, that's fast."

"Yeah, it is," Shay agreed.

From there the women discussed a great few things, before Gabby had to go back to her room, leaving Shay with one key thought in her mind, 'So Dawson's not my donor, that just leaves... well everyone.'

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Okay, so I know I warned you all that updates might take longer, but I never intended it to take this long. My bad. I hope that you will still be reading along.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eleven**

For Casey things were just getting worse and worse. Guilt ridden over his girlfriend's near miscarriage, Matt was refusing care in every way, shape, or form.

He wouldn't do his physiotherapy.

He wouldn't eat.

He wouldn't drink.

He wouldn't bathe.

In essence Matt had stopped his life, and was just sitting in bed as the world continued around him.

And there was nothing anyone could say or do to change his mind. Even Gabby had tried, pleading to him desperately down the phone line when she learnt of his deterioration from her own sickbed.

* * *

In contrast, Shay was finding new strength in searching for her donor, even as her health deteriorated. Shay was nothing if not determined.

Yet, as nothing changed in Kelly, and Shay knew that he wouldn't keep something so important from her, Shay came to believe that he couldn't possibly be the donor.

* * *

Days went by, and before they knew it, it was the day of the transplant for Shay (and Kelly). As far as Shay knew the reason why Gabby sat with her as the nurses readied her for surgery was that Kelly had a shift that day, and he had already let her know that he had no leave left.

In truth Kelly had been taken into surgery hours earlier.

Shay's mother and sister sat at her side, along with Dawson. And unbeknown to Shay, the whole crew (minus Severide) were sitting out in the waiting area.

Shay was a nervous wreck, she knew that this was probably her only chance at getting well, and there was little that Gabby and her family could do to calm her other than to just be there for her.

By the time Shay was wheeled into the operating theatre she was close to tears.

* * *

"Shay just went into surgery," Gabby said tiredly as she entered Matt's hospital room. "We should have news on Severide soon." Gabby moved to the bedside, and gently began run her fingers through Matt's hair. "How are you today, babe?"

Matt didn't even turn his head to look at his pregnant girlfriend, but this was becoming an all too familiar scenario to Gabby, so she just took her usual seat to await news on their friends, after all the doctor had told her that she still needed to rest as much as possible.

* * *

"Excuse me, Gabby. May I have a word with you in the hallway?" Matt's doctor said, poking his head into the room.

"Yeah, sure," Gabby replied, standing up. Quietly she walked out to the hallway.

"Thank you for your time, Gabby. I will try to keep this brief. This is not easy... From a physical perspective Matt could be in intensive rehabilitation by now, I cannot justify keeping him on the surgical ward any longer."

"Wait! What?"

"Unless you are prepared to take Matt home, and care for him, we will be transferring him to our psychiatric ward tomorrow morning."

"Matt's not crazy!"

"I know. However he is deeply depressed, and his best chance for a meaningful recovery is to get him out of his present state, I think you know that."

"Why aren't you talking to Matt about this?"

"I tried, he threw a vase at me. Please be aware that if Matt remains uncooperative we do have grounds to force him to go into the psychiatric ward."

* * *

"Kelly, take it easy," Those were the first words Severide heard as he woke up from the anaesthetic. It was the chief. "You're doing just fine, and the doc told us that the kidney looked perfect. Shay's in surgery now. You did it."

"I did it," Kelly said with a pained groan.

* * *

As the hours ticked by, Gabby found that the small hospital room was making her feel slightly crazy herself, and so she found herself wandering around to the surgical waiting room in the hope of learning more on Shay's condition. She could not have timed it better, as when she arrived Shay's surgeon was addressing the family from firehouse 51 and of course Shay's actual family. Having already heard that Severide was doing fine, settled in on the surgical ward, they were now just taking turns sitting with him to make sure that he had everything that he needed.

Everyone bar Shay's sister were listening closely to what the doctor had to say.

"...is doing very well. We will keep her in the intensive care unit for a couple of days, but the kidney is already producing urine, which is encouraging. You may see her shortly."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! And a special thank you to Allen92909, you know why.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Twelve**

The first face that Shay could recall seeing of her colleagues was that of Chief Boden. She had expected that someone would be sitting with her besides her mother and sister, but the chief, that was a surprise.

"Chief? What are you doing here? Is everything ok?"

"I am sorry to startle you, Shay. Everything will be fine, there was just a minor incident on shift, and Kelly asked me to let you know that he won't be in to visit for a few days," Chief Boden said convincingly; he should have been an actor.

Thankfully Shay fell for it.

"An accident? Is he okay?"

"It was a bad fall, and he reckons that he'll be sore for awhile, but he's fine. Please don't worry yourself.

"Well I want to see him."

Shay's nurse chose that moment to make her presence known, by way of saying, "I'm afraid that that is completely out of the question, Leslie. You have just had major surgery. You aren't going anywhere."

* * *

"What are you doing?! Where are you taking me?" Matt was snapped from his self-pitying stupor as two broad orderlies shifted him to a transport bed.

"Your doctor has ordered a transfer to the psychiatric services unit. No one has spoken to you?" The taller of the orderlies asked.

"They told me," Matt replied grudgingly.

"Okay then, is there anything in here of yours?"

Matt looked towards the cupboard fleetingly, there was after all no need to make the transition an easy one. He was being locked in a mental ward, and no one around him, even his own fiancé, would help.

* * *

The psychiatric services unit, or PSU as it was more commonly known was a bleak and uninviting place. It has drab, faded and chipped grey walls, and bad lighting, all complimented by off white vinyl floors. And from the moment Matt was wheeled in, he hated it.

'But I deserve it,' Matt thought bitterly, not protesting as he was taken into a room opposite the nurses station.

* * *

As the last of her leave ran out, and the stack of bills steadily grew, Gabby prepared to start her new position in the administration department of CFD. Thankfully the building where Gabby would be stationed was only several minutes drive from Lakeshore Hospital, so she would be able to visit Matt every day, and would continue to do so, even in her lunch breaks.

The uniform, Gabby reflected, was new, yet it was still noticeably tighter across her previously trim stomach. At only ten weeks her pregnancy was showing.

Skipping breakfast in favour of a decaf coffee, Gabby went down to her car, and made her way to see Matt before continuing on to work.

* * *

That day, as Gabby took her lunch break on what was proving to be a tediously dull job Gabby drove the short distance to Lakeshore to see Matt. But on her arrival to the ward, Gabby was stopped by the nurses at the desk.

"What? What's going on, Kate?" Gabby spoke to the familiar nurse, "Why can't I see Matt?"

"The medical intern is in with Matt at the moment, I really feel that it would be better if you waited out here to speak with the doctor."

"No. What's going on? Tell me."

"The medical team have decided to put a nasogastric tube down Matt's nose into his stomach to supply him with nutrients until he is ready to start eating again. It might be distressing for you to see, so I asked you to wait."

Upon hearing this, though she didn't disagree with the use of a feeding tube, Gabby brushed past the nurse to be at her fiance's side, even if only to hold his hand.

* * *

When Gabby entered the room the doctor, identifiable by his scrubs, was leaning over Matt, his hands working to secure a tube that was now protruding from Matt's left nostril. The doctor turned to glance at Gabby, only briefly before continuing to work, now writing down his instructions for the nurses. "You're Mr Casey's fiancé? He tolerated the tube placement as well as could be expected. The dietician will come down later to write up the nutritional orders. Do you have any questions?"

Gabby's mind was racing with questions, yet she said no, as she took her usual seat at Matt's side.

As the doctor left, Matt looked to Gabby, his eyes filled with heart wrenching pain, and spoke his first words in over a week, "You should let me die."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen**

Gabby was left reeling at Matt's hoarsely spoken words, he spoke so calmly, he seemed so unaffected by his own statement. The man she loved wanted to die, he wanted her to let him die.

Gabby's training as a paramedic led her to know that in a sense Matt knew what he was saying, that without supportive treatments like the continuous fluids to provide hydration, and now the nutritional support, in time he would die.

But it wasn't even her say what happened to him, not really. If Gabby (and Matt's mother too) didn't follow the doctors in their treatment plans, Matt's care would be taken entirely out of their hands, at least as it stood they had a say.

Gabby placed a hand to her swollen belly, as though trying to protect their unborn child from the pain surrounding the couple in that moment. "Matt..."

"You should let me die," Matt repeated, locking eyes with Gabby (a first since not long after her near miscarriage).

"Matt... Stop this, please."

"Let me die."

"Please just stop," Gabby would have preferred Matt to return to his stony silence, anything but this.

"Let me die."

"I can't," Gabby was crying now. "I love you too much."

Matt's face softened, if only for a moment, "Don't you understand that I deserve to die?"

Gabby looked to Matt, and saw the broken man hiding behind his own failing body. Cautiously she pressed on, even though she only had her instinct to guide her, "What do you mean, Matt?"

"I hurt you. I nearly killed our baby. I don't deserve to live," Matt couldn't meet Gabby's eye anymore as he spoke.

"...That wasn't your fault, Matt. It was an accident. And we're okay, me and the baby are okay."

"But you might not have been!" Matt's temper was flaring now, in one swift motion he ripped the blankets off that covered his lower body, "If it wasn't for this then that never would have happened. Don't you see that you'd be better off without me? You and the baby both."

Gabby could see from the corner of her moist eyes that Kate, the nurse, was approaching with something in her hand, an injection, most likely a sedative. "I'll never see that, Matt. You, me, and this baby belong together. It doesn't matter whether you're a firefighter or you're at home with the baby, we belong together, and I'll never say otherwise." Gabby watched as the contents of the syringe were pushed into Matt's drip. Almost immediately Matt began to relax back in the bed. "I love you, Matt. You hear me? I love you, and we are going to get through this together."

* * *

It had been six days since Kelly Severide had last visited his best friend, and though he still didn't feel one hundred percent, he was convinced that he'd be able to pass off any soreness as being from his 'fall'.

The nurses all greeted him pleasantly, recognising him, a couple of the younger ones even tried to flirt with the handsome firefighter. Kelly was too tired to pay any notice.

Kelly pushed open the door to Shay's room, and as he saw that she was awake he spoke, "Hey stranger."

"Kelly, hey," Shay beamed. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thanks. How did everything go with the transplant? You're looking great. I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"That's okay, Kelly. Everything went great, my surgeon says I'm doing really well."

"That's great," Kelly replied, trying not to make his discomfort too obvious as he pulled a plastic chair over.

Shay knew Kelly far to well not to notice that he was walking quite stiffly, seemed a bit too tired, and was slightly too pale. "What's wrong, Kelly? Are you still in pain from your fall? How did it happen? It must have been bad."

"Ah, it wasn't too bad. Just went through the floor at a structure fire. I'll be fine. You're the one in hospital."

"Okay," Shay replied, backing down for now. After all they had promised not to get in each other's business. "Have you been to see Matt yet?"

"Not yet. Why?"

"I was just wondering ...Gabby was pretty upset yesterday when she stopped by, she said that Matt's been talking about killing himself. He's one of your best friends, I thought you might have been to see him."

"I will, tomorrow maybe," Severide replied vaguely, before redirecting the conversation by asking, "How are you doing anyway?"

"I'm good, Kelly. I'm actually really good. The doctor says that I might be going to the rehab centre by the end of the week. And nice try. Why don't you want to see Matt?"

"Of course I want to see Matt, but you're my best friend, and I'm still too ti- sore to manage two visits, so maybe tomorrow."

Furrowing her brow at Kelly's near slip up, Shay spoke, "When you do see Matt let him know that I'm thinking of him, would you?"

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen**

Following Matt's breakdown, the psychiatrist summoned Gabby to their office on the other side of the ward, and Gabby complied. She needed answers.

Sitting opposite the doctor at his desk, Gabby was quick to ask, "What the hell just happened?"

"Firstly Ms Dawson, I would like to apologise that you had to see that. Matthew is very unwell at the present time. We are presently treating your fiancé with numerous medications to treat his depression, however due to his brain injury it is not simple."

"Can I do anything to help him? I was just sitting there, I didn't know what to say."

"At the moment it is most important that you spend time with Matthew, let him know that he has your support. Matthew has been through a great deal in a very short period of time; the explosion, his injuries, your near miscarriage, it is more than his brain is able to cope with given the damage it has sustained."

"What does that mean? Is he going to get better?"

"Unfortunately we cannot predict how Matthew is going to respond to the treatments that we are trying. You should however try to remain positive. It may take time, but I am cautiously optimistic that Matthew will improve. For now I feel that it's best to focus on one day at a time."

* * *

Two days passed without incident, and as dawn broke Shay was speaking to one of the junior doctors charged with her care. "What do you mean? I thought I had another week here."

"You're doing remarkably well, Ms Shay. Dr Hillman is confident that you will be able to be moved to the rehabilitation centre as soon as a bed becomes available. In preparation for your transfer I'll be removing the central lines later on this morning."

"What about the catheter?" Shay asked, voicing her continued dislike of the object.

"As we've said before, Ms Shay, the catheter has to say until you're able to walk. And ignoring your muscle weakness, the latest pelvic x-rays indicate that we shouldn't try to get you out of bed for at least another week."

"Another week? I've been stuck in this bed for over a month," Shay said, exasperated. Initially Shay had been told one month, but now as the hospital staff kept telling her just one more week, it was getting hard to believe. Shay wanted to see progress, she wanted to get back to her work, her life.

* * *

"Morning," Kelly greeted Shay as he arrived at her room some hours later, to find her sitting up in bed chatting to a nurse who promptly excused herself with no more than a 'I'll let you tell him.' "Why're you looking so cheerful this morning? What's going on?"

"They're moving me to rehab this afternoon, it's all organised. Clara just told me."

"They've cleared you?" Severide asked, effectively stunned. "You're really clear?" 'It worked, the transplant really worked?' Was what Severide was thinking, though he'd never say it.

"They have. I am."

"Where are they sending you to?"

"Riverside, there's a rehab centre there that they recommended."

"Riverside? That's an hour away." Kelly was shocked. Seeing Shay's face begin to fall, he quickly amended, "Hey, hey. I'll be there every step of the way, you know that."

"I know."

* * *

As was becoming routine, Gabby stopped in to see Matt on her lunch hour, but today was not proving to be a good day for either member of the couple.

"...I miss how we used to be, don't you?" Matt said, breaking an uneasy silence that had fallen between them.

Gabby could literally feel her heart breaking as she heard her fiance's desolate words. But though she wanted to agree with Matt, yes she did miss how they were before the explosion, Gabby also remembered the doctor's words. "We'll get back there, babe. One day at a time."

"I'm never going to walk again. I'm never going to get back to work. You deserve better than this, both of you do."

"Matt," Gabby began; she had heard this before, "It doesn't matter whether you're able to walk, or go back to work, me and this baby need you. We need you."

* * *

Shay was watching as a nurse packed her things to take to the rehabilitation centre, when Gabby walked into her hospital room, her eyes red from crying. "Hey, what's going on? Are you alright? Is Matt?"

"I can't keep doing this, Shay," Gabby sobbed. "It doesn't matter what I say or do, Matt's just gone, he's not the same."

"Hey, it's okay, Dawson," Shay said soothingly as she brought her arms around her friend. "Where's this coming from?"

"It's just- I don't... It's so hard, you know? Seeing him like this. I don't know if I can do it."

"I know. But you can do this, and you and Casey will be alright. It won't always be like this."

"I know, but first the outbursts, and now this... I just need something to go right for once."

* * *

The rehabilitation centre was quite pleasant really, Shay reflected as she was settled in to her new room. The centre was reasonably modern, and she had a room to herself, which apart from the hospital bed was a very homely place, complete with a private ensuite, and television as well as a small sitting area. Small was a relative term however, nothing about the room was small as it was designed specifically for wheelchair accessibility.

The carers were also very kind, Shay decided given the warm reception she had received. Yes, despite her fears about being so far from her friends when they needed her, Shay could see that this was going to be a good place to get well.

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! Not going to give too much away, but things will work out one way or another.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

That afternoon Gabby left early from work, and drove to her brother's house. Pulling up in front of the modest house, Gabby manoeuvred herself out of the car to meet Antonio.

"Hey sis," Antonio said in greeting. "Look at you, you're getting so big. Are you ready for your appointment?" Gabby had an appointment with her obstetrician in less than half an hour's time.

Gabby was less than enthused, the day had taken a toll on her. Of course she was looking forward to seeing her baby under less dramatic circumstances than previously, she was just tired. "Your car or mine?"

"Hey. What's wrong, sis?" Antonio asked concerned. "If you're worried about the ultrasound-"

"I'm not, it's not that. I don't know if I want this baby."

Antonio did a double take. "What?"

"Of course I want this baby, but Matt's in such a bad way. I don't know if I can look after both of them."

"Look, I get it, sis. You've got it tough right now, but you and Matt are going to get through this, and on with your lives. You've got to hang in there."

* * *

"You really don't get it, do you?" Matt exclaimed in exasperation at the psychologist whom he was enduring his thrice weekly appointment with. Even when he wasn't talking, this woman appeared in his room every few days without fail. "I hurt my fiancé, nearly killed our unborn baby. All of this because I was in pain from my legs that aren't even bloody well there anymore!"

"Matthew, please calm down. I could and have told you that the incident was not your fault until I'm blue in the face, it won't change anything for you. You need to make your peace with what has happened. Gabriella has forgiven you, it's time that you forgive yourself."

"...But what if I can't?"

* * *

As it was today was proving not to be Gabby's day, as when she and Antonio reached the hospital's consulting rooms they were informed that the ultrasound machine was out of order, and that her appointment had been rebooked for the following week. She could still meet with the doctor, but without an ultrasound they had deemed the meeting to be of little value.

* * *

For Matt sessions with the psychologist continued in a similar pattern for several days, meanwhile Shay was going from strength to strength in her own recovery. But as with everything in this world something had to change.

It all happened late one afternoon.

Shay was in one of the centre's physical therapy rooms, a gym like space filled with various equipment. Today was her day. After six weeks in bed Shay had been allowed to move from bed rest to wheelchair use, and today would be her first time trying to stand.

In the centre of the room there were two parallel bars, designed to allow practice standing and walking for people who couldn't manage unassisted.

Shay was smiling as she was wheeled up to the start of the bars by one of the physiotherapists, she couldn't wait to be vertical once again.

"Alrighty, Ms Shay. Grab the bars here, take a deep breath, and when you're ready if you feel ok, you can try standing up. Remember to take it nice and slow."

Shay rolled her eyes internally, it felt as though she was a child being cautioned like that. Still she complied, taking hold of the bars, before standing.

It hurt. It hurt more than words could describe. Shay had always prided herself on being fit and strong, but at that moment she was shaking like a newborn foal, struggling to find its feet.

"Okay, it's okay," The physiotherapist said, noticing Shay's difficulty. "Let's get you back in the chair."

"No," Shay ground out, determined. She wanted to walk.

Intently focusing on the task at hand, Shay didn't notice her physiotherapist's attempts to stop her. Shay lifted her left foot slightly off the ground, and took a step forward.

* * *

Meanwhile Matt was sitting in his wheelchair, looking out of the his hospital room's window absently as his psychologist spoke; his mind was a million miles away.

"Matthew. Matthew, are you listening to me?"

"...I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked you if you and Gabriella have had a chance to discuss baby names yet."

"Oh, okay."

"So," The psychologist pried, "Have you?"

"No, I guess we haven't."

"Is Gabriella excited about the baby? This'll be her first child, yes?"

"I guess she is. We don't really talk about the baby," Matt admitted reluctantly.

The psychologist snapped her notebook closed, and looked to Matt. "I have a task for you. Please try asking Gabriella something about the baby, perhaps she might have an ultrasound picture that you could see, or you could start discussing names. I know that this will not be an easy task for you, but it will help you to realise that it is okay for you to move on."

* * *

It was less than half an hour later, when Gabby came in to see Matt after she had finished at work. Her pregnancy was clearly visible now, even as she entered her thirteenth week. "Hey, babe," Gabby greeted Matt, pecking him lightly on the cheek. This was all becoming too routine now.

"Hey, Gabby," Matt replied in acknowledgement, trying to muster a small smile. He couldn't.

"How did your session with Sharon go today?"

"It was fine," Matt replied quickly, but then more gently he enquired, "How are you? ...How's the baby?"

Gabby's eyes went wide in surprise. "...Um, we're both good. My belly's getting bigger I think, see," Gabby stood up, and lifted her shirt to reveal her distended abdomen.

"...Oh, wow," Matt breathed, as he took in the sight of his pregnant fiancé's belly.

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen**

Shay could feel herself falling, but she was powerless to keep herself from the inevitable impact. She felt the physiotherapist's hand catch her pyjama top, but the thin fabric immediately tore away. Knowing that an impact was definitely to occur, Shay brought her arms up to protect her head.

The feeling of hitting the ground was something that Shay would never forget. The padded floor helped, but the metal poles to either side of her did not. Shay felt her healing ribs rebreaking and her breath being taken away as she hit the bar to her left.

Laying there, unable to catch her breath, and stunned from the impact, Shay could hear the commotion around her as staff ran to her aid, but she couldn't open her eyes for the pain.

They lifted her onto a trolley, full spinal precautions in place, and before Shay knew it, she was taken to the region's hospital.

* * *

"Kelly, it's Annette. Leslie's mum," The words, shakily spoken came down the phone line.

Immediately Severide was alert, years as a fireman had given him this ability. "What is it? Is Shay okay?"

"I don't know. I just got a call from the centre, Leslie had a fall in physical therapy earlier, and they took her to the hospital. The stupid nurse didn't think to call any earlier. Can you get to the hospital?"

Kelly was off the phone and out of the door before he was even fully dressed.

* * *

The drive only served to further frazzle Severide's shattered nerves, and by the time he arrived at Riverside Regional Hospital Kelly was out of his mind with worry for his best friend.

He needn't have worried so much.

When Severide entered the hospital he was directed to a ward, and there he found Shay sitting up in bed, casually flicking through the limited channels on the room's television. Oxygen tubing snaked under her nose, and a blood filled drain disappeared towards her chest, but otherwise she looked okay, albeit bruised and slightly pale.

"Kelly," Shay exclaimed in surprise, looking up. "What're you doing here?"

"Your mum called me. Are you okay?"

"Broke three ribs, and one punctured my lung, but the surgeon said that I can go back to the centre in a few days. I'm fine. It could have been worse."

"Yeah, you're right. It could've. What happened anyway?"

Shay shook her head, she didn't want to talk about it. She knew that she stuffed up.

"Come on, Shay. Spill it."

"...I tried to walk."

"Oh." Severide didn't know what else to say. "Why's that so bad?"

"I was only meant to stand today, but I was so close. I just wanted to walk." Shay paused, she looked up to Kelly with tears brimming in her eyes. "I've got to get back to how things used to be, how I used to be."

"Oh, Shay," Severide said, sighing. He wasn't good at all this. "You'll get back there, but you can't push yourself so hard. ...I was so worried about you today. You've got to listen to the physios."

"I know."

* * *

Gabby had taken the next morning off from work, as she was meeting with an obstetrician. At Matt's psychiatrist's suggestion Gabby had also arranged for Matt to join her for the appointment; an orderly would bring him to the consulting rooms.

Tapping her foot nervously, Gabby waited alongside Matt - who sat in one of the hospital's wheelchairs - to see the specialist. It was a particularly anxious time as Gabby knew that her pregnancy was classed as 'high risk' due to her near miscarriage.

"I called Kelly this morning," Gabby made conversation as they waited, "Shay will be going back to the centre in a few days, just as soon as they're sure that her lung won't collapse again."

"Shay shouldn't have pushed herself so hard," Matt commented. He was right, but his tone wasn't as it might've been before he took one too many blows to the head.

"I know, babe. But she's just trying to get back to work. It's been hard on her to be away. You'd understand that."

"At least she can go back to work," The bitterness in Matt's voice was unmistakable.

"Oh, right," Gabby wished that Matt's moods were a little more consistent, that she could talk to her fiancé without fear of backlash. "I'm sorry, babe."

They were spared from further conversation, as a young female doctor approached them.

"Good morning, Ms Dawson, Mr Casey," The doctor began, "I'm Anna Baker. I'm going to be taking care you you and your little one. Would you like to follow me?"

Of course Gabby followed the doctor, an orderly pushing Matt behind her. Soon they reached a relatively small office (particularly once they brought the wheelchair in), and sat down.

"Once again Ms Dawson, I'm very sorry about the technical issues that we were having last week. Now, I understand that you are now in your second trimester, is that correct?"

"Yes."

"Okay, excellent. And how have you been feeling? Any nausea? Pain? Bleeding?"

"No, nothing. Not since, well you know..."

"Of course," The doctor replied knowingly. "Now, I'm sure that you would like to see the little one. How about we get you to pop up on the bed, and I'll do an ultrasound?"

"Okay, and here's the heartbeat," Dr Baker commentated as she pressed the ultrasound probe on Gabby's stomach. "And here is the second heartbeat."

You could have heard a pin drop as the doctor spoke.

"Wait. What?" Gabby said, half hoping that she had misunderstood.

"Well it seems that at the time of your first ultrasound we couldn't see this second little one. Congratulations, you're having twins."

You could have knocked both Matt and Gabby down with a single feather.

Involuntarily Matt gulped, "...Twins?"

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen**

Learning that he would soon be a father to not only one, but two babies seemed to finally break through Matt's depression, and within days he was making great figurative strides in his recovery.

The hospital's physiotherapists weren't wasting any time in work with Matt. His recovery, even when factoring in a traumatic brain injury and the loss of both his legs, Matt should have been much further ahead than he was.

As it was they were just starting to work on exercises to strengthen Matt's upper body to facilitate learning to use a wheelchair.

"Come on, Matt. Take a deep breath and try again," The physiotherapist said encouragingly. "Just one more set, and we'll take a break. You need to get your arm strength back if you want to move on to bed to wheelchair transfers."

As a firefighter Matt was well ahead of the game, but weeks in bed had left him much weaker than he previously had been.

"I want to go back to my room."

"I'll take you back just as soon as you finish this set. So, take a breath, and try again."

* * *

Only a week after Gabby and Matt's big news, Matt was speaking to his psychiatrist, Dr Fields - who continued to see Matt every day since his admission to the PSU.

"You've made remarkable progress, Matthew," Dr Fields commented as they began their daily meeting. Though Matt remained in the psychiatric unit, as he had begun to let go of his guilt over the near miscarriage, and look to the future, he began to heal. "I think that as long as you're willing to continue with the antidepressants and regular counselling, then we can look at moving you to a physical rehabilitation centre. From what I understand, your colleague, Ms Shay was moved to Riverside Rehabilitation Centre last week, perhaps that would be a good fit for you also, though I must leave the final decision to the surgical team."

* * *

Kelly Severide was many things but when thinking of this day, he would always reflect that he had been an idiot.

It had been a couple of weeks since Shay had been moved to the rehab centre, and on the spur of the moment Severide had agreed to help Shay and her physiotherapist in the pool.

Changing his pants quickly for a pair of board shorts from his gym bag, Kelly made his way to where Shay was sitting in a wheelchair, wearing a swimsuit that he had gotten from the flat for her, and talking to the physiotherapist.

Following the lead of the physiotherapist, Severide pulled off his CFD shirt, only to pull it back on in double time when he heard Shay surprisedly ask, "Kelly, what's that?"

Shay could feel the fear flooding in, until it felt as though she would drown in it. She knew that like most firefighters Severide had his share of scars, but she'd seen him without a shirt many times, and never noticed this one. This very new surgical scar, one that was barely healed in fact, running along under Severide's ribs on his right side. Then it finally all clicked together in her mind. "Kelly, please tell me you didn't."

Hastily Severide tried to cover up his error, but the damage was done.

Quietly the physiotherapist excused himself.

"It was you. Why didn't you talk to me?" Shay asked, hurt.

"You were dying, Shay. And I could stop it, I did stop it... I just didn't want you to worry, not about me."

Shay was dumbfounded, she didn't know what to say. For Kelly to think that he could do such a thing as donate a kidney to her without telling her, his best friend, it was insane.

"Shay, come on. Talk to me."

"You could have died."

* * *

Though it would take time, the friendship between Shay and Severide would recover and become stronger than ever. In the meantime Severide was back at work, having sufficiently healed from his operation to resume light duties, and he had a plan that he wanted to share.

"Hey guys. Listen up for a minute," Severide called out to his colleagues as they relaxed in the lounge area. After waiting a moment for everyone to quieten, Kelly proceeded, "I was talking to Dawson yesterday, and I've got good news on Casey - he is going to be moved to Riverside at the end of the week."

A chorus of cheers broke out throughout the room. Even the new paramedics and Casey's replacement were cheering, though they didn't know Matt personally. It was the best news they'd had on their former colleague in awhile.

"Alright, alright. I know that medical organises all 'required' equipment, but when I was talking to Dawson she mentioned that the physios told her that those wheelchairs are pretty basic, and harder to use. I did some research, and spoke to the physio; they reckon that a customised chair would help Casey a lot. I say that we all pitch in, and see if we can get one for Matt. What do you guys think?"

Boden chose that moment to make his opinion known, saying, "I think that's the best damn idea I've ever heard."

* * *

**To Be Continued...**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen**

Survivor's guilt the shrinks called it. Since the explosion almost uninjured every member of the original squad and truck teams, as well as Chief Boden, suffered from it. Why did they make it out, and weeks down the road their colleagues were still recovering, though it seemed likely that neither would ever be declared healthy enough return to work?

No one suffered more so than Severide.

Maybe that was part of the reason that Kelly found it so difficult to make that trip to the hospital, and now the rehabilitation centre to see his friends. Even now Kelly kept the visits as brief as possible; it had been over two weeks since he'd last seen Matt, though he spoke regularly to Gabby. Maybe it had also contributed to Kelly's decision to donate one of his kidneys to Shay, but who would ever know?

* * *

Back at Lakeshore within the confines of the PSU the days passed slowly, but on Friday morning as had been promised Casey was moved to the rehabilitation centre.

The physiotherapists wasted no time in getting started on intensive physiotherapy, and Matt was up for the challenge.

"Take it easy, Mr Casey," One of the physiotherapists cautioned as they worked to help Matt move to the wheelchair as a starting point to begin teaching him how to use the device. "Just do it like we've practiced. Nice and easy."

Matt just nodded, as he braced himself for the pain that he knew would come when he moved. His superficial injuries had long since healed, but as soon as he moved the pain in his stumps would consistently flare. It felt as though his legs were contorted to somewhere between his shoulder blades. In Matt's mind that would have been better, at least he would have been able to make sense of what was happening.

"Argh," Matt groaned in pain as he pushed himself up with his arms, sliding across from the bed to the wheelchair. As he lowered himself into the chair, Matt sighed wearily, wiping sweat from his brow. The effort had taken a lot out of him.

"That's great, Mr Casey. Well done."

* * *

"Hey, man," Severide greeted Casey upon entering his room at the centre. Kelly had tried to delay this visit, but for once his friends at the firehouse had pushed him.

"Hey," Matt replied in kind, shaking hands with his friend. "How're you?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Severide said with a laugh. "I'm good. How are you anyway?"

"I'm good. Physio is tough, but I'm getting stronger."

"That's great, well you know what I mean."

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Matt replied. "Have you been to see Shay today?"

"Yeah, I just came from seeing her. She's good, nearly recovered from her fall."

"Hey, that's great," Matt beamed. "And how's everything on the transplant front? Are you both doing alright?"

"Yeah, I'm back on full duties next shift, and Shay's doctor says that everything's looking good for her." Severide paused, checking his watch. "I didn't come here just to check on you, Matt."

Matt looked at his friend; he was understandably puzzled.

"Me and the guys at fifty-one all chipped in, and with your physio's help we arranged-" In a matter of perfect timing, there was a knock on the door, which Kelly quickly went to, and opened as he said, "-this."

Just outside the doorway of the room stood the entire truck and squad teams, Boden stood in the front pushing a customised wheelchair.

The wheelchair, Matt had to admit was pretty awesome. If he was going to need one, this one would be much better than the standard option, Matt knew. It was a fire engine red ultra lightweight foldable wheelchair, much like one that not coincidentally Matt had been given to practice with. But what made it truly special was the guards placed over the wheels, they were masterfully painted with an intricate flame design featuring the CFD shield.

Matt couldn't believe that his colleagues had gone to such lengths for him.

"Guys, this is...," Matt was speechless, "Thank you."

"You are very welcome, Casey," Boden stepped in to act as a spokesperson. "I think that everyone agrees that this was the least that we could do for you."

"Thank you."

* * *

**To Be Continued... **

**Just an epilogue to go now, so now's the time to let me know how you want this story to end.**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


	19. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: I claim no ownership to Chicago Fire or it's characters. This is purely for fun, and I am making no money from this story.**

**Thank you for all your wonderful reviews!**

**I will tell you now that I'm not happy with this final chapter of what has been a great fic to write. I won't go into why, but let's just say it was looking more and more like it was this or nothing. Perhaps one day I'll rewrite this chapter, but for now...**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Epilogue**

"Your turn," Gabby grumbled as she rolled over in the bed that she and Matt shared.

"Alright," Matt sighed, throwing the blankets off of himself. Even at two am Matt was now well practiced at transferring to his wheelchair. He had to be otherwise the twins would be running rings around him, well when they were old enough to walk that is.

At just six months old, Grace and Alex were a formidable pair, especially to their parents. When one cried, they woke the other. There was rarely a chance for sleep, even more so for Gabby and Matt to sleep at the same time.

Yet Matt had no qualms with his life as he adeptly wheeled himself through their modified apartment, and into the twins' nursery.

Both infants wailing, Matt lifted each of them up, and put one twin to each of his shoulders. Softly Matt hummed a lullaby as he rubbed their backs, and as their cries died down, and he felt their tiny bodies grow heavy with sleepiness, Matt reflected that in spite of everything he would not change a thing.

Yes, even though he was disabled, and would live out his life dependant on his CFD pension alongside his wife's salary, but they were a family, and it all so easily could have been lost.

* * *

Meanwhile at firehouse fifty-one they were experiencing a fairly busy shift, but for Leslie Shay that was no issue, as a matter of fact she loved being busy. Even more so Shay loved it as it was her first shift back since the explosion which had injured her so horrifically.

Shay's young partner, Dennis, looked dead on his feet, and actually groaned when the call came through their radios that they had to go again. Shay on the other hand felt energised, and ready to take on whatever their call involved, even if she did move ever so slightly slower these days.

* * *

The call took the paramedics to an intersection, where multiple cars had collided. With cars strewn from one side of the intersection to the other it was a mess.

Shay was going from car to car, assessing and tending to the victims, and though her body ached something fierce, her mind was clearer than it had been in many months, and it was at that moment that Shay came to realise that this was exactly where she belonged.

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**The End.**

**I look forward to hearing your thoughts and opinions.**


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